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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
