I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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