He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
