dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I'm really busy with my period
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