Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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