I wanna bring you to show and tell
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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