its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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