Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He kissed a someone with a penis
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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