I want to stick my p in your. b.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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