big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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