you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
