I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
