Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Terrible idea I love it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize