Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
no you cant smoke seaweed
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
