You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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