I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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