Swine flu. Run for my life!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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