I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
