well I can't set my house on fire every night
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize