Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Mom said you looked used
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
