Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize