I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
