I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
