Sry I called you an 8
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
