I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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