Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
