She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize