Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
