Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
