so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
