if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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