the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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