My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
