Buhtt sex?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
