She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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