I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
