And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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