A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
