That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
