Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
