I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
