I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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