Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
