That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
