with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
