So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
