Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize