I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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