Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
where are my eyebrows?
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