ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
