Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
