I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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