So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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