we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
