i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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