Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize