I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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