he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
