i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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