I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
